The struggle was real in 2020. Not knowing what would happen daily has a weird way of putting someone into hypervigilant and hyper-exhausted mode. I’ve never done more or worked harder than during the COVID quarantine, and I’ve never felt more lost, more frustrated, or freer. The constant cognitive dissonance has taught me exactly what I think about my place in the corporate world, but also in the world of women’s equality.
Suddenly, COVID had leveled the playing field between working mom and working dad in my household. There were equal amounts of interruptions, snack retrieving, and Spiderman underwear-clad Zoom appearances. There were as many cups of coffee and cups of milk poured between the two of us no matter who had to talk to the CEO or the school. There were equal amounts of late nights to finish up presentations and to talk through scary dreams. The “default” parent was no longer me, and the weight of raising a family while working two jobs was finally balanced.
Why did it take a global pandemic for us to notice how off-kilter we were? Why are we always on the brink of collapse before it dawns on us to adjust? We’re human, so I can only assume those answers are buried somewhere deep in the psyche, and we’ll eventually get better at that someday. But I do know that I’m not alone. Working mothers all across the country were making hard choices – buckle down and do the impossible, or quit. I used just enough finesse coupled with some well-placed anger to communicate the help I was desperate for but always afraid to ask for.
My husband is a wonderful partner and an even better dad, but he’s never been at home with our children. I’m the one that exited the workforce, then clawed my way back in somewhat haphazardly. I went from working from home at night to owning my own business, to working part-time in the corporate world to working full time AND owning a business. While that might sound interesting, my less than consistent path has always made me the parent that is ‘available’ for what the kids need. We fell into the familiar trap of doing what we had always done, even though it wasn’t working for anyone.
Then came the day that our corporate offices closed, and we moved our desks into our home office together. That only lasted a few days until one of us (cough, my husband, cough) had to relocate to another corner of the house. We each took the school activities and always had to hop up when someone cried or couldn’t figure out how to replay Paw Patrol for the 14th time that day. It was amazing how quickly we established our new system and routine around meetings, virtual school therapy sessions, and the occasional break to play Barbies or Hot Wheels.
We were in survival mode, or so we thought. But what we really were doing was thriving. We were implementing cool new technology projects in our corporate gigs, I was building an incredible local community of moms who needed significant support during this time, and our kids were crushing “virtual school.” One day we looked up, and within our “COVID bubble,” we’d become happier, healthier, more cohesive as a family, and way more effective as employees and partners too.
I know that our case is probably the minority of families in our community. Many experienced heartbreaking loss, devastating change and still face the impacts of 2020 to this day. We will never take our fortune for granted, and we even hope to carry our newfound efficiency into the future. I, for one, plan to advocate that more working families have the opportunity to do what they can from home and find even more ways to support working moms and dads.
If 2020 has taught us anything, it’s that we can’t go backward. We have to hold on to the lessons we’ve learned to honor those who have lost so much. As a mom who has finally found her place in our family and my work, I don’t plan to let the world go back to that old normal either.
About the Author
Chelsea McBride Anders is the owner and founder of Lubbock Moms, the premier parenting resource in our community. Chelsea launched Lubbock Moms two years ago and has built a team of more than 35 perm
anent contributors and event coordinators that produce resource guides, blog posts, and hold events focused on bringing together all moms in the greater Lubbock community through education, mutual support, and inclusiveness. In the last year, Chelsea and Lubbock Moms have partnered with the Mayor’s Office, the Lubbock Police Department, the Junior League of Lubbock, and various local businesses. As part of her role as a Sister Site owner within the City Mom Collective network, Chelsea was selected in 2020, to sit on the Inclusion, Diversity, Equity and Awareness (IDEA) Committee.
Chelsea has dedicated her adult life to engaging and serving her community in a variety of impactful ways. She has held many leadership and chairwoman roles for the Junior League spanning several cities and states over the past decade. She currently serves as an advisor to the first Junior League of Lubbock Diversity and Inclusion Committee. As a local small business owner and member of the Lubbock Chamber of Commerce, Chelsea also serves her hometown on the Chamber’s Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion taskforce.
Chelsea served the Lubbock community by being a member of the Legacy Play Village Steering Committee, where she again drove the renovation effort’s public relations and outreach efforts and helped guide the design of new park for inclusion and accessibility.
Nationally recognized as an advocate for children with disabilities, Chelsea graduated from the Texas Council for Developmental Disabilities exclusive Partners in Policymaking program in 2020. This program provides hands on education and exposure to the Texas State legislature and other policymakers with an emphasis on influencing state policies with regards to disability programs. As a class project, Chelsea is now beginning the work to establish a West Texas chapter of The Arc – the premier national resource for helping families navigate complicated public processes to receive the support they need and that is available to them.
In addition to her strong commitment to community service, Chelsea serves as a Project Manager and Digital Human Specialist for Madera Residential, Lubbock’s 2018 Business of the Year. In this capacity, Chelsea is helping to introduce lifelike, digital avatars into the multifamily industry, improving the lives of apartment community residents and management.
